'I have very little money, while my ex's financial statements show assets in the millions'
"Without my knowledge, he stopped paying for a $250,000 life-insurance policy in 2015." (Photo subject is a model.)
Dear Quentin,
My ex-husband, 74, was ordered by the court to pay $1,500 per month in permanent alimony and to maintain a life-insurance policy. He has an $8,000-a-month income. Without my knowledge, he stopped paying for a $250,000 life-insurance policy in 2015. Then, in 2023, he stopped paying alimony altogether and took me back to court.
The first judge ruled that he was required to continue paying the alimony and also ordered him to pay the arrears. Two weeks later, he appealed. The appeal was assigned to a different judge who, at the time, was the subject of widespread news coverage for inappropriate conduct. That judge ruled that my ex did not have to pay anything, and he ignored the previous court orders.
Just two months after issuing that ruling, the judge resigned in disgrace rather than face removal from the bench. Unfortunately, I do not have the financial resources to appeal the decision. I have very little money, while my ex's financial statements show assets in the millions. I am 72 years old and still working two jobs to make ends meet.
The appeal hearing itself was very strange. It was held over Zoom (ZM), and the judge appeared completely disinterested. Several incorrect statements were made during the hearing, but I was not allowed to correct them. After about 50 minutes, the judge abruptly told my ex's attorney, "Get your paperwork to me by tomorrow because I'm going on vacation."
We were married for 16 years. I get $1,460 in Social Security per month, and occasionally receive a small additional amount (around $10) based on his benefits. I truly believe I could live on about $3,000 per month - my Social Security plus the $1,500 monthly alimony. I live very frugally, and I genuinely enjoy my two jobs.
What will happen if I reach a point where I can no longer work?
The Ex-Wife
Related: 'She wants him gone': My friend took in a homeless man as a caretaker. After 10 years, how can she evict him?
You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com. The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.
The life insurance company likely has no obligation to pay a lapsed policy.
Dear Ex-Wife,
Act now - the clock on the statute of limitations is already ticking.
The life insurance company likely has no obligation to pay a lapsed policy. Your husband did not pay the premiums, and the contract existed between him and the insurer. Unless there was an error by the insurer, a lapsed policy has no death benefit.
Your ex-husband, however, may still be liable if a divorce judgment or settlement required him to maintain that life insurance and a judge orders him to compensate you for deliberately (we assume) allowing the policy to lapse.
The law varies by jurisdiction, but family courts often treat the failure to maintain a required policy as a violation of a court order if maintaining the policy was part of your divorce settlement or judgment. Depending on the facts of the case, a judge could award damages in your favor.
According to New York Life, an insurance company, "It's become common for courts to require divorcing spouses to purchase life insurance policies as part of the settlement. This is often the case when one spouse earns significantly more than the other."
Just make sure that was the case here. "Outside of protecting young children, most states don't allow a person to own a life insurance policy on an ex-spouse," New York Life adds. "After divorce, they're no longer considered to have an insurable interest."
There are other outstanding questions: Can you enforce the arrears awarded in the first order? Is there an unpaid judgment that could still be enforced? Could your ex-husband be held in contempt of court based on his actions?
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Appealing a judicial decision
Don't give up hope. Contact your local legal aid organization or your county or state bar association to ask about pro bono or reduced-fee representation. You should also look into organizations that provide free legal services to seniors and ask about filing an appeal.
Going against a previous judge's ruling is not easy. In this case, you would need to file an appeal with an appellate court, a motion to modify alimony, and/or a motion to vacate a prior order. However, a lawyer would be best able to advise you.
If you pursue an appeal, best of luck. A judge who acts abruptly or rudely, or who appears to make random decisions, is not necessarily guilty of misconduct. However, if the judge resigned under a cloud of scandal, as you say, that could weigh in your favor.
A judge's refusal to allow you to correct factual errors, apparent decision to determine the outcome before hearing all the evidence, and rushing the proceedings because of his personal schedule may suggest that something was awry and could encourage a lawyer to take on your case.
Every U.S. state has an independent agency-typically called a commission on judicial conduct, a judicial qualifications commission, or a board on judicial standards-that is authorized to investigate complaints against judges.
These agencies handle allegations of judicial misconduct, including bias, conflicts of interest, unethical conduct, abuse of authority, and other violations of the state's code of judicial ethics. If any of the above apply here, you may have a path toward relief.
You are right to future-proof your finances. This is a good place to start.
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Check out The Moneyist's private Facebook group, where members help answer life's thorniest money issues. Post your questions, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.
-Quentin Fottrell
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July 11, 2026 09:15 ET (13:15 GMT)
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